wait-ing: wey-ting: To remain or stay in expectation
it looked ugly, everyone nasty, snatching away things without upholding their integrity. what am i talking about? mmm... let's see... job promotion, guys, gaining ppl's pity and even attention i would say. it all bogs down to personal expectations, next - unwanted bitching around, fighting ungraciously and in the end, more misunderstandings, hatred...
watching these actions go "live", it just gave me a reason to forgo the perks and just lead a simple life... call me easily contented, but isn't it one of the pleasures of your life? no quarrels, no shouting and screaming... treating everyone your closest...
but of course, contentment isn't a big fan of today challenges... i am wey-ting... not remaining obsolete but staying in expectations... high expectations of ownself but least of others... i am waiting... waiting for me to grow, to learn, to understand why things happen the way it took place.
Once, I've pinned too much and had images of him hanging at my void deck planning to give me a surprise... waited seven years, scarred twice, he gave me surprise but also intimidated me with the cruel truth. "you're not the one." The abandoned feelings speared through me and caused my reluctance in baring my needs and believing in love... a dear friend once told me to stop waiting... and move on... i didn't. till it killed me the second time, i learned... i'm half foot moving but heart's still... i guess that the pain's still within me... it's tedious for me to rationalise even a year later... i am building courage abundant enough to move on... taking away expectations, in turn impose good wishes to him... i set foot to somewhere tranquil, some place where i can continue my dance to celebrate the finale of my story...
muackalattes dYnelle huang = mugger + worker + lover ;) 